A known one but they have added a couple of really good ones! Enjoy.
________
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh*t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.
A WELSH CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
Thursday, 26 April 2007
Wednesday, 25 April 2007
Can you name famous Belgians
Tuesday, 24 April 2007
One, Two, and Three...
I've been a bit quiet this last week. Partly because I was away in Bristol visiting my sister, and also because I needed to clear my head and get my mind around the latest happenings in my life.
Turns out not only am I looking for another flat (yes, the slightly over budget place I had found is no longer an option) but I'm also looking for a new job!
Kind a sucks... but someone once wrote: "Life will only throw things at you that you can handle". So I'm gonna go with that and trust that it will work itself out.
Turns out not only am I looking for another flat (yes, the slightly over budget place I had found is no longer an option) but I'm also looking for a new job!
Kind a sucks... but someone once wrote: "Life will only throw things at you that you can handle". So I'm gonna go with that and trust that it will work itself out.
Wednesday, 18 April 2007
I have a flat
It took a total of 17 crappy places before I finally landed on this one!
I have a flat :)
... with my very own parking space.
Still in bed with the flu, but a happy day.
I have a flat :)
... with my very own parking space.
Still in bed with the flu, but a happy day.
Wednesday, 11 April 2007
Whipped
Tuesday, 3 April 2007
Interrobang ?!
I love Pub Quizzes! They do them a lot around here on Monday nights.
By teams of 5 (or if you are willing to forgo potential prizes, 6).
So even though I can usually only answer a small few, I always get my moment of glory...
You see, it seems I have a specialist subject. This is not intentional and has caused me many an embarrassing moment but when it comes to identifying crappy music, I can usually come up with the right answer.
The obscure Rick Astley song, a certain album released by a now totally unknown boyband, basically questions only I have the impressive completely useless knowledge to answer!
Now, My team mates on Interrobang?! take the piss every time, and that's fine, 'cause I take the mocking in my stride, but, when it comes down to it, I know I have a sordid music past and it's actually coming in handy now!!
So anyway, Yesterday, despite a not so warm welcome at the Old Oak, and a quiz-master who's accent was so bizarre, half the time the challenge was understanding the question, NOT coming up with the answers, I learnt a few things which I will share with you now:
• Baking chocolate has more caffeine in it that cocoa.
• Mascara comes in 3 forms: liquid, cream and cake. (This one stunned even the girls on our team)
• The company that homes Revlon is the USA. (No still doesn't make sense but that's what was written on the question sheet so god forbid the quizmaster would question the logic of a question).
• The biggest port in South America is Buenos Aires.
• The "ob" in ob tampons stands for ohne binde, which means "without pad." (didn't need to know this? Neither did we!!!)
Ok that's enough useless trivia for now!
(We won by the way - joint first place but the other team got the prizes because there were 6 of us on the team and we did a tiny bit of cheating. Nelly likes her map you see!)
By teams of 5 (or if you are willing to forgo potential prizes, 6).
So even though I can usually only answer a small few, I always get my moment of glory...
You see, it seems I have a specialist subject. This is not intentional and has caused me many an embarrassing moment but when it comes to identifying crappy music, I can usually come up with the right answer.
The obscure Rick Astley song, a certain album released by a now totally unknown boyband, basically questions only I have the impressive completely useless knowledge to answer!
Now, My team mates on Interrobang?! take the piss every time, and that's fine, 'cause I take the mocking in my stride, but, when it comes down to it, I know I have a sordid music past and it's actually coming in handy now!!
So anyway, Yesterday, despite a not so warm welcome at the Old Oak, and a quiz-master who's accent was so bizarre, half the time the challenge was understanding the question, NOT coming up with the answers, I learnt a few things which I will share with you now:
• Baking chocolate has more caffeine in it that cocoa.
• Mascara comes in 3 forms: liquid, cream and cake. (This one stunned even the girls on our team)
• The company that homes Revlon is the USA. (No still doesn't make sense but that's what was written on the question sheet so god forbid the quizmaster would question the logic of a question).
• The biggest port in South America is Buenos Aires.
• The "ob" in ob tampons stands for ohne binde, which means "without pad." (didn't need to know this? Neither did we!!!)
Ok that's enough useless trivia for now!
(We won by the way - joint first place but the other team got the prizes because there were 6 of us on the team and we did a tiny bit of cheating. Nelly likes her map you see!)
Monday, 2 April 2007
Here goes ....
OK, Never been much of a follower but this blog thing is really getting under my skin, so I thought I'd give it a go.
Private or public, revealing or hidden, long or short, I have yet no clue.
I've back posted my notes from Florence... just to make things a bit confusing!
Private or public, revealing or hidden, long or short, I have yet no clue.
I've back posted my notes from Florence... just to make things a bit confusing!
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