Monday, 21 May 2007

Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is 8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can
"do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!!


Anonymous said...

Yes, well... Men have to put up with women. So it kind of evens itself out.

AMC said...

Aaah how life would be soo much easier without women. Would mean no more blow jobs tho, did you think of that?

Anonymous said...

Ah yes, because women deal them out so frequently and casually... Of course, missing those thrice daily BJ's would be a problem.

Oh wait. Reality ain't like that.

In fact, when we do find a women who's free and easy with the BJ's, she can run for office on the strength of it.

Anonymous said...

How American.

Lots of respect has just been lost.

AMC said...

"any attempt to influence the depth of insertion by the user will
result in immediate end of service"

You've just been meeting the wrong women mate! ;)

(this post is in danger of becoming a bit crude... delicate natured people might want to cover their eyes - you know who you are!)